CULALEI - One time, when I was checking out a blouse in a tiangge, a saleslady approached me and said, “Ma’am pili na, marami kaming XL!”
No name - I once told my worried, single, no-boyfriend since birth friend, who missed her period: “Bakit, may ginawa ka ba para mag-alala ka kung buntis ka?”
BedBathed Mitch/Dignus - When a mom asked her daughter why her best friend is so much more superior with honors left and right, the daughter told her mom: “Siguro matalino nanay niya.”
Skywalker - “When I was 12, I won the MVP in basketball and I was so proud to show the trophy to my mom. And my mom said: “Diyan ka lang magaling.”
Hannah - I once told an officemate, “Siguro hindi ka taga-UP no?” But I felt so guilty after saying it.
MNEMONIC - My friend’s wife’s stand about his extra-curricular activities: “I’d rather have 50% of him than lose 100% of him.”
No name - I really freaked out in the gym once, when a guy approached me and said: “Pare, your body is a wonderland…”
Northeast - I’m very morena, and when I gave birth to our very fair daughter, the nurse commented: “Siguro po, maputi ang daddy niya, no?”
Blair - When I heard an officemate bragging about her graduating cum laude, I blurted out: “HIndi halata…”
Maynman - Read this interview in a newspaper recently, Aga Muhlach on infidelity: “I always TRY to be loyal to my wife, and she knows this.”
Shining - My laiterang officemate once said: “Alam mo, yung anak ni Che kamukha ni Kokey. Ito namang anak mo…kamukha ng anak ni Che.”
RC N CESS - I once texted a friend: “Piso lang ang text…”
Vie - “Huy, nabalitaan niyo na ba? Ang hiniram, sinasauli!”
Kabalyero - In my profile for guys4men: “HIndi lahat ng sinusubo sa akin, kinakain ko!”
V54 - 4 yrs ago, after a wholesome date with a 37-year old separada, I took her home. Later, she texted me: “Sobrang gentleman mo naman…”
Mr. Perk - “Pare, experiment lang…pa-kiss…”
Your Highness - “Mas masarap ang luto ng Mommy ko…”
YñaKì - A boutique saleslady: “Sir, doon na lang kayo bumili sa Megamall…SALE po doon ngayon!”
Cheska/Blair/Tani - A married friend told a single friend, “Bakit wala ka pang asawa, eh maganda ka naman?” The single friend answered, “Hindi lahat ng nag-aasawa, maganda.”
Chinky - To my ex’s current girlfriend, who’s been harassing me: “Hating me won’t make you any prettier.”
